The plan was tight. Everything was timed and looked really like it would be a success. Some minutes before Sators gig at Bunkerfestivalen, I sneaked in and tried to steal all the guitars from the backstage artist area so that Sator wouldn’t have anything to play on.

As I, the frontman of Killer Clan of F.U.N., had rehearsed a couple of Sator songs I figured I could go out and take the stage a second time this saturday. After all it was a lovely stage and the gig went great earlier, even though there could have been more people. Now people had gathered to see Sator and this was my big chance.

Along comes Chips Kiesby the frontman of Sator and finds me in this embarrasing situation… see for yourselves.

Love/ Maniac

Unfortunately I couldn’t be with the band at Bunkerfestivalen yesterday. I’ve heard that the festival went great and that the band made a great gig. But what happened after their gig is still unclear.

Did Maniac set off one of his plans against The Soundtrack of Our Lives or Sator or one of the other bands? I don’t really know right now. All I have is this photo I received this morning in my mail:

/Pär
- the manager

…it really wasn’t.

I told you the other day about Maniacs vicious plans to interfere with The Soundtrack of Our Lives‘ gig at Bunkerfestivalen on the 3rd of July. We exposed him to the world and and Ebbot gave him a strong word of warning, so we thought that we could stop worrying about it.

But we were wrong. He just shifted his focus to another great band that will be playing there, Sator.

Yesterday I found a clip that revealed what he was up to. At first I thought it was just his usual ramblings, but when I listened closely I could clearly hear that he’s now targeting Sator . Well, time is too short to stop him now, so lets hope for the best on Saturday.

- the Manager

After we exposed Maniac’s plans yesterday to take over Bunkerfestivalen, the reaction has been very strong from the media as well as from the rock world. Peruvian TV, Chinese rock magazines, radio Kazachstan, you name it, have all covered the story today, and the pressure have been quite heavy on all of us in the management today.

As you might expect, the strongest reaction came from Ebbot, ofThe Soundtrack of Our Lives, himself. At a press conference early this morning he sent this message to Maniac:

Look at this picture above I took the other day. It’s a actually a picture of Maniac, apparently dressed in some kind of Santa Claus outfit. But why?

He came out the door and I was there with my camera, but before I could ask any questions he pushed me away and ran off. Of course I got very suspicious, as the others in the band didn’t know anything about it. What was he up to now?

The following days I started playing detective, looking in his bags, sneaking into his room, eavesdropping, and it payed off! Through scraps of papers, drawings, strange statements I think I finally solved the puzzle.

As you all know, Killer Clan of F.U.N. will be playing at Bunkerfestivalen in Bengtsfors on the 3rd of July. A great festival with 18 bands. Sator will play too, The Generals, Kid Down, Social Siberia and lots of others. And….The Soundtrack of Our Lives!!

And that’s where Maniac has his thoughts now. With The Soundtrack of Our Lives. As if  Killer Clan’s fantastic show wasn’t enough, Maniac wants to take over the entire festival! His plan is to lock up Ebbot somewhere (we think he’s aiming for the toilet), and then impersonate Ebbot, and take over their show too!

The rest of the band and I thought that this was such an evil plan, that we had to bring it to your attention. Hopefully this will make him put his plans aside, at least for a while.

Pär
/The Manager

The last of the members to be presented is also the most self-centered and diva-like one of them. This is a man who always grumps about every little issue untill he gets his way, even though it’s a far worse alternative than the one everyone else votes for. This is the singer and front figure of the Killer Clan. A pack of energy and brutal rock’n'roll.

This is the elder of Killer Clan of F.U.N. but young at heart and unfortunately in mind to. Maniacs first years were spent moving around much like a hobo. Moving from place to place, sometimes country side and sometimes city.

Ending up in academic city of Lund, Sweden, at the age of 8, living with his newly divorced mom aiming to get back the stolen years in paralyzing marriage he was not properly looked after and ended up doing dangerous and unlawful things, such as setting fire to everything and shoplifting anything flammable.

Being the prince for all relatives at first and then the poor sad pyromaniac child, descended from divorced parents, maybe his need of attention wasn’t fulfilled. As a direct result of this, and a reaction to his mother’s interest in women liberation groups, he started listening to punkrock, heavy metal, blues and any other degenerating kind of music there was. The more sexist style of music and lyrics, the better – all in the name of upsetting mom.

At school the grades weren’t great, more and more time was spent sneaky smoking and fighting, and when one of the cute girls got a higher grade, even though her test results where poorer, he threatened to beat up the teacher. Normally this is not a recommended action but in this situation it actually helped – and his grades got at least a little bit fairer.

Eventually this little villain also started to play the drums in a band. Late in life he found out that fat drummers didn’t get any of the lovely girls but that lead singers did, and could get away with lots and lots of bad behavior compared to drummers. At this time he had already found the love of his life and he married her and knocked her up… two times a father Maniac still craves attention like a two year old.

This is what drives him on stage every night with the Killer Clan of F.U.N. You gotta love this dude. Or you do like his brother in arms for a very long time, Bedlam, – keep him at a distance when needed and smack him hard on the head as prevention for stupid actions that just might come…

First bought album
Ozzy Osbourne – Bark at the moon

Most embarrassing phobia
“germs, don’t come near me with a cold”

Secret hot dream
“if the world was inhabited with just girls… and I was the only man.”

Favorite liquor
“John Daniels, when you’ve known him for as long as I have, he’s John.”

Favorite food
Lots, good and on time…

Best gig until now
Mejeriet, Lund, Sweden February 13^th 2010 with the Killer Clan of F.U.N.

The best thing about being a part of KCoF
“We laugh a lot and write cruel and catchy songs together”

The worst thing about being a part of KCoF
“The worst thing about being in any band… it’s always so much work to put even the smallest rehearsal together. I hate that. I want some one to do all that dirty work for me.”

Who would you NOT want to spend a night on a desolate island with
“Gene Simmons. He seems like a self absorbed and boring guy.”

Maniacs list of favorite songs through time as it looks right now

• Mötley Crüe – Live Wire
• Guns’n'Roses – Nightrain
• Bob Dylan – Hurricane
• W.A.S.P. – Scream until you like it
• Pink Floyd – Young Lust
• Zodiac Mindwarp – Prime mover
• Aerosmith – Magic Touch
• Hawkwind – Assassins of Allah
• John Lee Hooker – Boom boom
• Ministry – Jesus built my Hotrod

Edit: the finishing lines of this post have been censored because of bad language /admin

Also Maniac likes to add a little angry message to the management: SHOW US THE MONEY!

As you all know, the band is playing in Stockholm this Saturday, at Broder Tuck, Club Dislocated, 20.00. We hope to see many of our Stockholm friends there.

Everything seemed to be going well, but, and there’s a big but: something’s not right between our new guitarist Stuff and Maniac. And we’re not sure what will happen between the two of them on stage on Saturday.

Stuff’s really made a strong impression on all of us. First of all he’s a great guitarist and entertainer, second, Bedlam is happy to have his guitarist-party-brother and third he’s the first one in the band with a driver’s licence! Something that’s quite useful when the band is on tour…

Big Boned Barabas is to young to have one, The Mutt is to lazy to get one, and Maniac always fails trying to get one (he always get furious at the driver’s test because he’s not allowed to freshen up with some JD) It is rumoured that Bedlam actually had a driver’s license, but that he cut it in pieces one night, since he needed some extra plectrums.

Stuff being such an asset, you may wonder what’s happened then. Well, Stuff is a young, good-looking guy, and, he’s bare-chested on stage. It’s got to Maniac’s head that Stuff’s ambition is to try to steal the girls’ attention from Maniac when playing live. Sounds silly, I know, but once it get into Maniacs head, it hardly ever goes out (except with the help of a few drinks).

Maniac gave Stuff a warning the other day:

(Sorry, our foreign friends, it’s in Swedish. Maniac always starts ranting strange languages when he’s furious. Maybe he can translate it later.)

We all hope for the best on Saturday, and that Stuff gets back in one piece. I have asked Bedlam to give Stuff some advice how to deal with Maniac, which he was eager to do.

Well, things like this always seem to give Maniac extra energy on stage, so you can be certain that the gig on Saturday will be a great one. Also, playing before the Clan are some other great bands: Spirit Still, Abbey Orchestra and Captain Black Beard.

I won’t be able to attend myself, but the band sure wants to see you there.

/Pär
- the manager

So, the waiting is finally over. Killer Clan of F.U.N. finally got a second guitarist and his name is Stuff!

I talked to a very enthusiastic Bedlam yesterday: “Well, this dude sure can party like a guitarist! He even brushes his teeth in JD!”

This all sounded great. But as you know from what I told you a couple of days ago, I could also foresee an upcoming conflict with Maniac here. He is not famous for just giving up an argument that easy. But what did he do?

He brought Stuff with him on a radio interview yesterday night, and presented him to the world. You can listen to the show here, InRock on Radio AF (I’m afraid it’s in Swedish, but if you write to Maniac he will translate the whole thing for you):

In Rock, Radio AF 9/2-2010

Well, it is rumoured that Stuff really knows how to play the guitar too, and I will see for myself on Saturday on Mejeriet in Lund. (also see the event on Facebook).
I’m really looking forward to this fabulous rock’n'roll kick-off and I finally get to see Badmouth and Close Quarters too.

See you there!

Pär
- the manager

PS Ugly Mutt tired of being called ugly all the time, he thought he was too beautiful for that. And the others thought he was more rabid than ugly so he’s called Rabid Mutt now. But he’s still a mutt! DS

We are very happy that Vince Neil is headlinin the fantasic line up at Stockholm Rock Out as you can see on the poster of the last blog post. Also we are now puttin up posters all over Lund to announce the forthcoming show at Mejeriet.

A new guitarrist, to support Bedlam on stage, is currently learning our songs and we hope you all will see him on stage soon. When we are ready we will make a closer presentation here on the Killer Clan web.

In skånska, from me:

- Bang your head babe!

This is the first part of the chorus in our one day fresh song, which we will carry in the set for Rockbåten as the opening song. You will not be disapointed. As I sit here with a grand beaker of the latin american national drink of Calimucho and feel really lucky to be part of this crazy gang of fucked up nogoods It comes to mind that once there was this very young man called Archibald Daniels going on a short trip abroad to see his favourite artist Rob Zombie.

When the opening act was done they announced that mr Zombie was ill or something and instead the brittish pop band Ash would stand in. This was not great for the already VERY toxic Archibald. He went bezerk. Drank all the beer in a famous bar in the city where it all occured and blacked out like a baby. When he came to his senses (well almost that is) he found himself smoking a joint with two really weird guys at a railway station in the outer rim of that alien city.

From there he took an extremly expensive cab to the harbour just to find out that the last boat was long gone and it would be hours and hours until the first morning boat arrived. Now, this particular winters day there was a heavy snowstorm in this nordic capital and the bloke needed a place to rest. He found himself wandering the empty streets as the high wore off and finally he found a coffeshop to rest his frozen body and heat up the buzzing mind with a couple of beers.

At this little sleazy bar a very unsexy 70-year old eskimo woman without any front teeth asked if she could help him out with a blow job for the humble price of 8$. Archibald went into a chock state and screamed NOOOO! from the top of his loungs.

Soon after this the boat arrived and our hero found his friends, who had lost him after a fight with cops and ambulances involved, and he went home (only to continue the very unhealthy party that was going on).

But the lady from the bar stuck in his mind and jumped up like the man in the box in his nighmares years and years after this and now this event has crawled itself  into a song again. The soon to be finished “Stay-in-bed-day” will be at least partly inspired from theese events. Some of the involved may protest, but this is how the story goes…

Yours faithfully/ Maniac Archibald Daniels