Since our former drummer 3B left us, we took a week off and regained new energy. Now we’re back and we are on the prowl for a new drummer. Do you know anyone that can beat the hell out of the skins or maybe you wanna try out yourself, just let us know by dropping us an email.
As our headquarters are located in Lund, it’s obviously an advantage if you live in the southern parts of Sweden.

At the moment we’re in the midst of planning an upcoming tour to support our release of “The World Of Voodoo”. Gigs are already booked and more are on their way, so we need you now!

I’m full of expectations, who will our new drummer be, are you a dude or a dudette? How will you inprove the sound of the Clan? And how will you help us shape the future of the Clan…

If you love the stage and want to create some rock n roll history you should contact us ASAP!

Yours truly! / Stuff

Yes! It’s true!

You’ve probably heard the rumour by now: Killer Clan of F.U.N. have a new bass player!

The guys had been auditioning bass players for a while, ever since The Mutt left us in December. And you may remember the band’s history with auditions from before, and as you understand it’s not an easy thing to run if Maniac handles them alone.

This final audition last week, though, the entire band was present to make sure that Maniac didn’t do anything stupid, forgot about it or hired a trombone player instead of a bass player.

We were waiting in the rehearsal room for the whole thing to start. BBB told us after having briefly opened the door to the hallway outside, that there were 15 people out there waiting to audition.

And finally Maniac yelled: “THE FIRST ONE CAN COME IN!!”

The door opened and in came a guy with sunglasses, carrying a bass guitar case. He walked slowly to the middle of the room, carefully put down his case on the floor, looked at us and said with a deep calm voice:

- “Rock”

- “Rock you too dude”, Maniac said. “And what’s your name”

- “I am Rock”, he answered.

-  “Hell yeah!, we’re all rock, dude, Bedlam is rock, BBB is rock, Stuff is rock and I am so much fucking rock that it pours down on the floor.”, Maniac shouted.

Maniac, not known for his patience, turned to us and carried on shouting and making jokes out of it for a while. When he finally stopped we looked at the bass player again, and there he was, already with the bass in his hands, with the hand on the amp switch. He said slowly:

“My name is The Rock”, and he turned on the switch…

And boy did he blow us away with his playing. After 15 minutes of solo play even Maniac’s jaw had dropped to the floor. Maniac took a few paces towards The Rock and asked him:

“Do you like JD?”

The Rock nodded.

“YOU’RE IN!”, Maniac screamed, looking at us and we were all nodding and giving the thumbs up.

“Well, I have to tell the other players that it’s over for them then”, Bedlam said.

“That won’t be necessary”, The Rock said.

“Sure, it will”, Bedlam said, but when he opened the door to the hallway, no one was there. Everybody was gone.

We have no idea what happened to them, but we’re really excited to have The Rock as a member of Killer Clan of F.U.N. Welcome!

/The Manager

It seems like the Clan will grow some more in the weeks to come. Maniac will be having auditions for a number of young women, all hoping to be a part of the new choir together with Junkie Jenkins.

Great you say? Well, it isn’t really. I’m starting to worry again.

The problem is not the choir, we need a choir. The problem is the auditions. Maniac will run them, again. Alone.
He claims that he’s the only one who can recognize a good singer and that we would only disturb him in his important work.

What could go wrong, you ask?

Well, I can tell you about other auditions where Maniac was in charge. The drummer auditions for example.  Maniac started to fight with all fifteen drummers even before they had a chance of showing him their skills. Why? Well, he claims that he doesn’t like drummers and that he had a bad day.
Luckily, Big Boned Barabas accidentally ran a drumstick up Maniac’s nose, which Maniac thought was pretty cool, so BBB got the job.

Same thing with the bass auditions. But the other way around. Maniac said he had a bad hangover, refused to listen to anyone, and approved everyone. So, for one and a half hour Killer Clan of F.U.N. was probably the only band in the world with 26 bass players.

Until Ugly Mutt showed up. He was also having a bad day, he was out of cigarettes, and he was desperate for the job. So he kicked everyone’s butt and threw them out the door. He even threw Maniac out. But Maniac thought that was pretty cool too, so Ugly Mutt got the job.

Yesterday I had prepared myself with a speech, that would convince everyone that we shouldn’t let Maniac run this by himself. So, boldly, I confronted Maniac and the others with my arguments at the band meeting. Well, band meeting maybe wasn’t the right word as BBB was concentrated with picking his nose with a drum stick and Ugly Mutt was outside smoking, like he usually is.

But I did notice that I seemed to have Bedlam’s support. He was breathing heavily and nodding during the entire speech, almost with enthusiasm I would say. I finished the speech, feeling that the winds were blowing my way, and said something like “Isn’t that right, Bedlam?”.

But no answer. No movement.

Seems like he had been sleeping the whole time. At least he was sleeping when I took off his sunglasses.

Maniac responded with a big grin, left the room, and shouted “Girls, here I come!!!” in the hallway. Haven’t seen him since.

Let’s hope for the best…

/Pär
- a worried manager