The plan was tight. Everything was timed and looked really like it would be a success. Some minutes before Sators gig at Bunkerfestivalen, I sneaked in and tried to steal all the guitars from the backstage artist area so that Sator wouldn’t have anything to play on.

As I, the frontman of Killer Clan of F.U.N., had rehearsed a couple of Sator songs I figured I could go out and take the stage a second time this saturday. After all it was a lovely stage and the gig went great earlier, even though there could have been more people. Now people had gathered to see Sator and this was my big chance.

Along comes Chips Kiesby the frontman of Sator and finds me in this embarrasing situation… see for yourselves.

Love/ Maniac

You’ve been watching a lame cut made by myself for several weeks now, but finally the production is done! Here you go, let your teeth sink into the freshness and raw power of the Killer Clan of F.U.N. captured by young film maker Nicolaj Branda.

The last of the members to be presented is also the most self-centered and diva-like one of them. This is a man who always grumps about every little issue untill he gets his way, even though it’s a far worse alternative than the one everyone else votes for. This is the singer and front figure of the Killer Clan. A pack of energy and brutal rock’n'roll.

This is the elder of Killer Clan of F.U.N. but young at heart and unfortunately in mind to. Maniacs first years were spent moving around much like a hobo. Moving from place to place, sometimes country side and sometimes city.

Ending up in academic city of Lund, Sweden, at the age of 8, living with his newly divorced mom aiming to get back the stolen years in paralyzing marriage he was not properly looked after and ended up doing dangerous and unlawful things, such as setting fire to everything and shoplifting anything flammable.

Being the prince for all relatives at first and then the poor sad pyromaniac child, descended from divorced parents, maybe his need of attention wasn’t fulfilled. As a direct result of this, and a reaction to his mother’s interest in women liberation groups, he started listening to punkrock, heavy metal, blues and any other degenerating kind of music there was. The more sexist style of music and lyrics, the better – all in the name of upsetting mom.

At school the grades weren’t great, more and more time was spent sneaky smoking and fighting, and when one of the cute girls got a higher grade, even though her test results where poorer, he threatened to beat up the teacher. Normally this is not a recommended action but in this situation it actually helped – and his grades got at least a little bit fairer.

Eventually this little villain also started to play the drums in a band. Late in life he found out that fat drummers didn’t get any of the lovely girls but that lead singers did, and could get away with lots and lots of bad behavior compared to drummers. At this time he had already found the love of his life and he married her and knocked her up… two times a father Maniac still craves attention like a two year old.

This is what drives him on stage every night with the Killer Clan of F.U.N. You gotta love this dude. Or you do like his brother in arms for a very long time, Bedlam, – keep him at a distance when needed and smack him hard on the head as prevention for stupid actions that just might come…

First bought album
Ozzy Osbourne – Bark at the moon

Most embarrassing phobia
“germs, don’t come near me with a cold”

Secret hot dream
“if the world was inhabited with just girls… and I was the only man.”

Favorite liquor
“John Daniels, when you’ve known him for as long as I have, he’s John.”

Favorite food
Lots, good and on time…

Best gig until now
Mejeriet, Lund, Sweden February 13^th 2010 with the Killer Clan of F.U.N.

The best thing about being a part of KCoF
“We laugh a lot and write cruel and catchy songs together”

The worst thing about being a part of KCoF
“The worst thing about being in any band… it’s always so much work to put even the smallest rehearsal together. I hate that. I want some one to do all that dirty work for me.”

Who would you NOT want to spend a night on a desolate island with
“Gene Simmons. He seems like a self absorbed and boring guy.”

Maniacs list of favorite songs through time as it looks right now

• Mötley Crüe – Live Wire
• Guns’n'Roses – Nightrain
• Bob Dylan – Hurricane
• W.A.S.P. – Scream until you like it
• Pink Floyd – Young Lust
• Zodiac Mindwarp – Prime mover
• Aerosmith – Magic Touch
• Hawkwind – Assassins of Allah
• John Lee Hooker – Boom boom
• Ministry – Jesus built my Hotrod

Edit: the finishing lines of this post have been censored because of bad language /admin

Also Maniac likes to add a little angry message to the management: SHOW US THE MONEY!

This crazy fuck of a guitarist is probably not who you’d like to meet in a dark alley in November. Bedlam is short for London Betlehem Hospital, and that’s what this mad man is running from. At least in his nightmares. Read some hardfacts from his life and weep. They’re coming to take him away HA HA!

First bought album
Billy Idol – 11 of the best

The silliest phobia
“People touching my food”

The most secret wet dream
“That there really is a hell and that Satan is a she”

My favorite drink
Wild Turkey

My favorite food
Bread. And cold rice

My best gig so far in life
“Killer Clan of F.U.N. at the Tivoli, Helsingborg, October 20th 2009 was great!”

The best thing about playing in Killer Clan of F.U.N.
“Getting to go crazy on stage”

The worst thing about playing in Killer Clan of F.U.N.
“Occasionally having to carry stuff. And tuning the guitar”

Who I would most certainly NOT choose to spend the night with on a desolate island
“Maniac Daniels. We wouldn’t last long…”

My top ten songs of all time

• Fever – Aerosmith
• Mr Brownstone – Guns N’ Roses
• PCH – ZZ Top
• That’s The Way I Wanna Rock N’ Roll – AC/DC
• Let’s Get Rocked – Def Leppard
• Penitentiary Blues – Lightnin’ Hopkins
• Train Tracks – Izzy Stradlin & Ju Ju Hounds
• Public Animal #9 – Alice Cooper
• Brownsville Girl – Bob Dylan
• Checkin’ Up On My Baby – Sonny Boy Williamson

Some hard facts about the reckless and wild drummer of Killer Clan of F.U.N., Big Boned Barabas, the villain that was freed during easter 2000 years ago:

First bought album
Kiss album ” The Greatest hits”

Most embarrassing phobia
Spiders

Secret hot dream
“The first wet dream was about Pamela Anderson”

Favorite liquor
No comment

Favorite food
Swedish home cooking

Best gig until now
Mejeriet, Lund, Sweden February 13^th 2010 with the Killer Clan of F.U.N.

The best about being a part of KCoF
“You get to play stone fucking hard rock n roll!!!”

The worst about being a part of KCoF
“The only thing I can say about this is that I suffer from severe trauma already and some seriously sick memories…”

Who would you NOT wanna spend a night on a desolate island with
The king of Sweden

Top 10 songs through time

• The Ocean – Led Zeppelin
• Ten Seconds To Love – Mötley Crue
• See Me Burning – Motörhead
• Nightrain – Guns n’ Roses
• I’m Going Home – Ten Years After
• War Pigs – Black Sabbath
• Fire – Jimi Hendrix
• Hush – Deep Purple
• Rollin’ Stone – Muddy Waters
• I Wanna Be Sombody – W.A.S.P

Second coming in our presentation of the bandmembers is The Mutt. Not totally clear who is telling the story of the Mutt… but anyway:

The beginning

Once upon a cold-ass winter night The Mutt crawled out from under a bin in a stinky alley. Full of questions regarding where he came from and who, or perhaps more importantly WHAT, he was, he stumbled out looking for answers.

Since a confused-looking child wandering the streets seems very suspicious, it didn’t take long for the authorities to take note of him whereupon they instantly sent him to a foster family. These people decided that it would be in his best interest if he went to school, but to be honest, they were probably just trying to get him to stop pissing on the living room carpet, so off he went.

The school years

These were the years when The Mutt developed his magnificent people skills and discovered his love of rock n’ roll. Other than that nothing of interest happened. Anywhere. So sayeth The Mutt.

All the other stuff

Many years of drunken stupor followed, where The Mutt discovered his now famous love of Jack Daniels. The first love affair between these two perfect subjects of affection led to The Mutt actually becoming somewhat whipped by the beautiful bottle. He stopped seeing friends and even built it a small house for it’s birthday. But when this didn’t please old Jack, he decided to just say ”Fuck it” and drink it. And he’s been drinking it ever since.

Rock n’ roll

For reasons you already should know, The Mutt eventually joined the Killer Clan of F.U.N where he now aspires to reach the new level of stardom where people will actually, voluntarily, bring him a bottle of Jack just for the fuck of it.

First Album
He can’t remember. But it had a lot of robots on the cover. The first album he remembers was Bon Jovi – Slippery when wet.

Most ridiculous phobia
Ithyphallophobia. And for all you illiterates out there this is the fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect penis

Biggest secret sexual dream
Probably to have sex without having an erect penis

Favourite liquor
Well, I guess you guys can figure out that it’s Jägermei…ouch Mutt. Stop hitting me…

Favourite food
The one that’s digestible and gives you all the fat and sugar your body needs

Best gig in life
The one where they crushed their enemies, saw them driven before them and heard the lamentation of their enemies’ women. But hoping that each and every last one of all the Clan’s gigs will live up to that.

The best thing about being a part of Killer Clan of F.U.N.
Nobody tells him to stop drinking. It’s always ”Hey Mutt. Have some Jack Daniels”. Actually, there’s been talk about hiring a staff member who could provide alcohol (and cigarettes) for The Mutt

The worst thing about being a part of Killer Clan of F.U.N.
- We’ll since he got me writing this he says nothing’s bad anymore. Except for the other guys trying to steal all his women.

Who he would not like to spend the night with on a desert island
Well I don’t know if you know him, but in Sweden there is this guy with a sign saying that his high-school classmate murdered a former prime minister of Sweden. The Mutt claims that this guy is even crazier than Maniac and also adds that ”he gets enough crazy during rehearsals.”

Top 10 best songs of all time
“Well I don…ouch…Hey guys! The Mutt here. No one is writing this down but me. Since Maniac’s a fuck up and obviously hasn’t listened to a word I was saying I thought it best that I wrote this down without him. So I don’t know. Best songs ever. In no particular order. And definitely not what I would’ve chosen tomorrow but anyway.”

• Fucking Hostile – Pantera.
• Crimson – Edge of Sanity.
• Hysteria – Muse.
• Fireball – Deep Purple.
• Highway to Hell – AC/DC.
• Lori Meyers – NoFX.
• Rejected – Rancid.
• Man in Black – Johnny Cash.
• Suspicious Minds – Elvis Presley.
• I want to brek free – Queen.
• Blinded by fear – At The Gates.

“So that’s that I guess. I’m gonna have me some whiskey.” – The Mutt

This week there will be presentations of the bandmembers in the blog, one new each day until sunday. This is to celebrate that we have a couple of days off for recreation and drinking. No rest for the wicked you may say. In his own words: This is Stuff, the weird country man, the hardcore shit kicker from hell:

Stuff was born in the great eighties and was put through some hard times such as being one of the poorest kids on the block. But he got an acoustic guitar from his loving parents, and it was truly love at first sight. A guitar who he still got today and write most of his songs on.

He grew up listening to KISS as his father had a lot of records with them and Stuff sat in front of his father’s record player listening to their records from the seventies, listening and just stared at the covers, and was blown away by their rocking music and their makeup. Determined that one day he would be just as good as them and even a greater rockstar!

With that determination and a lot of hard work he struggled through school and work even though he hated that, and often he would not show up cause he had some blasterin’ riffs goin’ on at home! Now he’s set to claim the world together with the rest of the Clan, but he will NOT let the rest of the Clan taste any of the pretty girls standing in his/their way!

Stuffs first bought album:
Dynasty with KISS

The silliest phobia:
“I really hate spiders (from mars)”

The most secret wet dream:
“The Corrs-sisters together all at once!”

My favorite drink:
“Whiskey in all forms and brands”

My favorite food:
“Moms food”

My best gig so far in life:
“Hard to choose just one, but the gig we did in Höör not long ago is one of my favourites”

The best thing about playing in Killer Clan of F.U.N.:
“Sharing the stage with all nutcases in Killer Clan”

The worst thing about playing in Killer Clan of F.U.N.:
“When deciding who gets to have the last zip of the whiskey after our shows”

Who I would most certainly NOT choose to spend the night with on a desolate island:
“Elton John, hate his awful music and he also seems to be into guys….”

My top ten songs of all time:

1. Love Gun – KISS
2. Under My Wheels – Alice Cooper
3. Blind In Texas – WASP
4. Elected – Alice Cooper
5. Hard Headed Woman – Elvis
6. Oriental Beat – Hanoi Rocks
7. Malibu Beach Nightmare – Hanoi Rocks
8. Black Diamond – KISS
9. Tie Your Mother Down – Queen
10. I Want It All – Queen

this is a very good blog for all us lovers of rock in it’s classic form. This week they also have the great taste of making us “Band of the week” which of course we are very grateful for.

Visit Calles Rock Corner

Our friends in Badmouth are hard at work in a studio in Göteborg with Sators frontman Chips Kiesbye as a producer and that makes me really jealous. Also curious about the song “Radiator” that we heard them perform live at Mejeriet in february.

Visit the official website and read about the recordings in their blog at BADMOUTH

We’ve been slacking around the studio the first weekend without a gig for a very long time. Nice to finally be in a productive and asskicking band. Here is a treat for all you Killerheads out there. Bloopers included for your satisfaction. Bon appetit.