There is a possibility now that Killer Clan of  F.U.N. will have a new member within a litte while. What I have heard so far is that the tryouts with a new guitarist is going very well.

The band has been on the hunt for a second guitarist for quite a while now. The obvious reason for this is that they want an even heavier sound on stage but the real reason is something else, at least for Bedlam: He claims that guitarists are the only ones who really know how to party.

Of course, the others can’t accept this statement, and especially Maniac gets furious when Bedlam brings up this issue. More than once they have argued about this with their fists.

Nevertheless the others have accepted the idea of having another guitarist, but it’s been quite hard finding one. Strange really, since there are a lot of talented guitarist out there, one would think. Many have tried, many have failed. At least in the eyes of Bedlam.

To say the least, he’s very picky. He wants his guitar wingman to be perfect in all senses.

On one occasion for example, he invited the two guitarists, that had come to audition, to share a few glasses JD with him. Three bottles later, Bedlam said that it was time to play. By then one of the guys had fallen asleep and the other one could hardly stand.

“Wimps” said Bedlam and threw them out.

After that Bedlam changed his strategy for the tryouts, tired of Maniac and Ugly Mutt chuckling over “guitarists that couldn’t handle it”. And it became harder, much harder.

I remember this guy that first had to play for two hours, Bedlam stopping him every now and then: “Wrong! Again”. I thought he did quite well in the end but he was exhausted and seemed even more nervous than before.

They sat down in the sofa afterwards and Bedlam asked him “How thick is the strings you use?”

“.11″, the guy answered.

“You’re kidding me!!” Bedlam boomed, shaking his head. The guy obviously thought it was the wrong answer and looked even more nervous. Maniac didn’t make things better by leaning over and saying “Come on Bedlam, it’s not your fault, it’ll work out in the end”.

A couple of more questions like that and the dude was in ruins, sweating all over. It’s not that Bedlam is especially threatening as a person. Off stage he’s actually very kind and easy-going. But he’s very tall, almost 2 meters, a man of few words and has that dark serious look in his eyes when he’s concentrated, so apparently the guy felt very small.

Suddenly Bedlam rose up from the sofa walked a few paces, turned around and asked “What kind of beer do you drink?”

“I like light…no…dark beer…no….” Trying to find the right answer he looked at Bedlam for some reactions.

“no, I can’t handle this…” He jumped up, grabbed his guitar and rushed out the door.

Bedlam shook his head. “Strange guy, I thought it was going quite well, and I was just going to grab some beer in the kitchen…”

Well, let’s hope for the best with the new recruit. We’ll let you know as soon as there are some news.

Pär
the manager

We are very happy that Vince Neil is headlinin the fantasic line up at Stockholm Rock Out as you can see on the poster of the last blog post. Also we are now puttin up posters all over Lund to announce the forthcoming show at Mejeriet.

A new guitarrist, to support Bedlam on stage, is currently learning our songs and we hope you all will see him on stage soon. When we are ready we will make a closer presentation here on the Killer Clan web.

In skånska, from me:

We’re extremely proud to announce that Killer Clan of F.U.N. will be part of the amazing line-up for the 2 day indoor festival Stockholm Rock Out at Gamla Tryckeriet, Alvik 30 april – 1 may!!

Learn all about the event at www.sthlmrockout.com!

It’s gonna be GREAT!!

- Bang your head babe!

This is the first part of the chorus in our one day fresh song, which we will carry in the set for Rockbåten as the opening song. You will not be disapointed. As I sit here with a grand beaker of the latin american national drink of Calimucho and feel really lucky to be part of this crazy gang of fucked up nogoods It comes to mind that once there was this very young man called Archibald Daniels going on a short trip abroad to see his favourite artist Rob Zombie.

When the opening act was done they announced that mr Zombie was ill or something and instead the brittish pop band Ash would stand in. This was not great for the already VERY toxic Archibald. He went bezerk. Drank all the beer in a famous bar in the city where it all occured and blacked out like a baby. When he came to his senses (well almost that is) he found himself smoking a joint with two really weird guys at a railway station in the outer rim of that alien city.

From there he took an extremly expensive cab to the harbour just to find out that the last boat was long gone and it would be hours and hours until the first morning boat arrived. Now, this particular winters day there was a heavy snowstorm in this nordic capital and the bloke needed a place to rest. He found himself wandering the empty streets as the high wore off and finally he found a coffeshop to rest his frozen body and heat up the buzzing mind with a couple of beers.

At this little sleazy bar a very unsexy 70-year old eskimo woman without any front teeth asked if she could help him out with a blow job for the humble price of 8$. Archibald went into a chock state and screamed NOOOO! from the top of his loungs.

Soon after this the boat arrived and our hero found his friends, who had lost him after a fight with cops and ambulances involved, and he went home (only to continue the very unhealthy party that was going on).

But the lady from the bar stuck in his mind and jumped up like the man in the box in his nighmares years and years after this and now this event has crawled itself  into a song again. The soon to be finished “Stay-in-bed-day” will be at least partly inspired from theese events. Some of the involved may protest, but this is how the story goes…

Yours faithfully/ Maniac Archibald Daniels

So I just came home from celebrating the new year. Most of you will think about how most people celebrate and think that they’ll know what I’m talking about. I assure you, you don’t. Most of you probably have dinner and then drink some and watch the fireworks. Me? I think I might have seen some fireworks. But anything explosive needs to be tested in close quarters before I’ll use them to celebrate. So last week was spent shooting fireworks on Maniac who was passed out in an ally.  Since I actually hit him my new years eve was spent running from an angered Maniac until I finally convinced him we should just get drunk together. Which we did. So…Cheers, and welcome to a new decade dedicated to the wonderments of rock n roll, all in the name of the Killer Clan of F.U.N.

/Mutt

I’ve been absent for a couple of days following the band latest “rehearsal”. I put quotations around it, since it’s mostly just Maniac running in circles screaming his lungs out. Anyway, in the midst of all that chaos a new song started emerging. After being inspired by the poetry that is Maniac’s drunken ramblings, I went home to indulge in my favorite pastime. Drinking myself unconcious in my apartment.

This if me doing my favorite thing

Usually that would be were the story ends, but not today. When I finally woke up, I was bruised and battered and found myself in a cell of some sort. I started yelling to the guards about letting me go, but they wouldn’t have it. After screaming randomly for forty five minutes they were obviously tired of me, and I was hurriedly put in a stale room, with someone sitting in front of me.

-Good morning mr Mutt. How are you today?

I told her it probably wasn’t me they were after and she asked me a bunch of questions. The one that stuck in my mind the most was:

-Why did you dress up as a cave man and tried to assault those women?

I told her she was mistaken.

-I spent the night at home, passed out drunk, like I always do.

She showed me a video recording of me running around in a cave man outfit chasing two women with a branch of some sort.

-Well. Um…

I tried to tell her it was art, inspired by the awesomeness of a new Killer Clan song, but she wouldn’t listen. Another hour of meaningless questions ensued, but finally I was released.

-I’m sad to say we can’t charge you with anything, so we’re letting you go.

Apparently there’s no law against knocking yourself out with a random tree branch. Go figure. Now I’m just getting myself psyched for the gig on tuesday. Sjöbo, here we come!

A little more than a week ago, the 2nd of the December, the band took the stage at Mejeriet in Lund.

The gig was something of a grande finale of an intense and fantastic autumn. The band was so charged with energy before the gig that you could almost feel it in the air. One do has to keep track of what Maniac is doing on such occasions, as he’s so tense and anxious to take the stage. Unfortunately I didn’t warn him in time that the plate he found with some strange powder, actually was a plate with black pepper. But he survived that too.

And it was that kind of night when things really can’t go wrong, no matter what happens. Mejeriet is a special place, as you really feel at home there from the start. It has that kind of warm atmosphere that you feel like you’re in your living room. Well, a living room with a very large bar inside. And a big stage. Well, as we would like our living rooms anyway.

With Håkan and his colleagues at Mejeriet being such pros of  what they do, everything is as good as it can be on a concert night with some hard and heavy rock.

Things happened, as they always do. Maniac managed to drop the mike, the first thing he did, and it just flew away into some dark corner where it couldn’t be found. Bedlam tripped over some cables and made a sommersault, which made him look like he was a pro gymnast. Apart from the fact that he didn’t really land on his feet.

But nothing could stop the band this night, and nothing could stop a great audience from having the best of times. Here’s a track recorded from the gig, the band performing “Tellin’ Lies”:

Killer Clan of F.U.N. – Tellin’ Lies – Live@Mejeriet 2dec 2009

But the Clan wasn’t alone this night. Sticky Dirt, a hard rock band from Lund got up first on stage. And they really rocked the place. The energy and enthusiasm from the band, just shook us all. When a band is having that fun on stage it’s contagious. Here’s “Thank God For Jack Daniels” with Sticky Dirt:

Sticky Dirt – Thank God For Jack Daniels – Live@Mejeriet 2dec 2009

Thank you all for coming, and we hope to see more of you all soon.

And thanks Frida Warnerbring for thes photos, and to all of you that have sent us photos from the concert.

Yesterday, after spending around 45 minutes of kicking ass, and not quite that long at taking names, I jumped off stage and someone immediately told me that I didn’t get the attention I deserve. Of course this is true, but I think I better tell the world why, before someone starts making up their own shit.

The fact is that there are a lot of rumours going around regarding me and my “sudden appearance” to pick up the bass after the dog “mysteriously” didn’t get up from Maniacs couch.

Wasn’t me

The world needs to know that neither that or any of the other stuff is true, except for some of the parts regarding the dead french hooker which totally wasn’t my fault. Anyway. People have started asking me questions about my past (and that damned hooker) so I decided to go a little underground.

Might have been me. Not sure

It’s for this very reason that I don’t often stand in the spotlight myself (even though I should since nobody can be there looking as good as me, except me). Fun fact: this is also why I’ve grown a beard. Remember that, the next time you wonder why the extremely good looking bass player with the monster attitude doesn’t get his much deserved attention./Mutt out

RIIING! RIIING! RIIING! RIIING!….

Three o’clock in the morning and from a state of deep sleep, the terrible alarm from my phone wakes me up, like if someone just threw a bucket of ice cold water over me.

I pick up the phone, trying to listen, with my senses still a little numb from the sleep…

- “Hello?”

-”…ist ze Ugly Mutt quitting ze band?…”

-”What”!!!

Now I’m wide awake, as the german-sounding voice explain the situation for me, and continues to ask me questions.

It’s a reporter from a german metal station, who just have gotten the news that Ugly Mutt wrote something strange on his Facebook profile an hour ago.

I try to calm him down sounding as self assured as I can.

- “No, not at all. He was just here. Probably just a rumour you heard.”

Finally I managed to finish the call. I have to see what he has written on Facebook! And there it is!

“I love everybody. Hugzz.”

I stumble backwards as I read. Visions of the summer incident comes to me, when Ugly Mutt ate some strange mushrooms and ran off with a group of hippies, the night before the big gig. Luckily we found him in time; he was sitting in a tree, naked and chanting christmas carols. But armed with a bottle of JD, Maniac managed to get him on the right track again.

And now, sunday morning only a couple of days before THE GIG, at Mejeriet in Lund, the 2nd of December. What will the others say, what will Maniac do?

I try to call him, but no answers. I just have to wait and see. Meanwhile, the phone keeps ringing. American podcasters want to know the truth, a Greek TV show wants to run a feature in the morning show.

But I have my story now: “No, nothing has happened. Some hacker has stolen his password, and we are working to fix this ASAP. No worries.”

And finally! 11:40 on Sunday morning the relief comes as I read on his status line:

“Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Facebook-hijack!!!!! Everyone will die!!!!!!!”

Pooh!! He’s back. Everything’s back to normal and I can go back to sleep.

Case closed.

/Pär
the no longer worried manager

Today I found a plastic bag in my pocket with green little bits n pieces that looked smokable. I rolled up what I supposed was a fat one to make my sunday smell a lot better (I mean who can stand the smell of five days drinking in the apartment – sure smells bad). I caughed like crazy and looked at the bag again… oregano isn’t that wild to smoke. Don’t do it it will only make you puke.

The only good thing about it is that my doctor is supposed to check my pee for drugs. Now all he will find is the smell of pizza.

On wednesday the magnificent Killer Clan of F.U.N. will attend Mejeriet in Lund to kick some serious ass together with our talanted friends in STICKY DIRT! Check them out at http://www.myspace.com/stickydirt

If you wanna join the evergrowing gang of nogoods and call yourself a clanmember – see to it that you are there!